12:16am: Don't See Resident Evil 2 - Let's Make GOOD Zombie Movies!
So I saw Resident Evil 2 tonight and if you plan on seeing it DON'T. If that doesn't convince you well then stop reading because here's some spoilage:
*RESIDENT EVIL 2 SPOILER*
This movie takes action/horror cliches and ridiculousness to a new height. Let's just list some of the extremely funny thing's I can remember:
-"Alice" crashing through the stain glass window of a church, on a motorcycle, flipping of it in mid-ride, shooting zombie "lickers," and then exploding the motocycle within the span of 15-20 seconds. Impressive? Read on.
-The cliche' "Leave me! Save the girl!" line.
-The group strolls through a graveyard. You know, just because. I could actually see the smoke machine and flood light. Oh, and the predictable graveyard zombies clawing out of the ground.
-A nuclear explosion. A nuclear explosion that seems to only make a helicopter crash, not incinerate.
-A death match between "Alice" and "Nemesis." Think Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' without the teapot singing.
-Pointless nude, zombie strippers. Should I be complaining?
-A character dedicated soley to making comedic one-liners all involving the word "mother-fucker."
-A hillbilly sniper who takes pot-shots at zombies from a roof-top. This seems familiar...
-The line, "Stay." after shooting a zombie dog on the ground.
-The old Matix classic: bullet-time.
And finally, *drum roll* a set up for another movie. Was that really a surprise? So I urge you all. Please do not give this movie money. As an owner of the first, much better, Resident Evil 1, I'm sorry about it all. But I can't let Hollywood continue to besmerch the zombie-movie genre.
*END RESIDENT EVIL SPOILER*
That's all I need to say. Enjoy your night. Later people.
Current Mood: 
bitchy